Why do many people continuously get trapped in the vicious circle of relationships based on infatuation? It is simple: they do not love themselves, and therefore they are willing to forfeit their individuality, including their wants and needs, just to have somebody in their life.
The degree to which you love yourself is the degree to which you will be able to extend love to others, and inevitably to find the one for you.
Do you extend as much kindness to yourself, as you do to others?
Do you love yourself?
Katherine Anne Porter wrote, " Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it." Katherine Anne is right: there is no end to it. Each day, we need to love ourselves. Each day, we need to demonstrate our love for our partner and family, and for all those we encounter. So how do we get to the point where we are able to show our love for others and ourselves every day? I feel that the answer lies in how we view love. In his book published in 1956, The Art of Loving, Erich Fromm describes love as an art that requires effort, knowledge and practice. To view love as an art i...
A national telephone company advertises a long-distance telephone slogan, "Reach out and touch someone." Each day, we need to reach out and touch those who are close to us. All of us - young and old, single and in relationship - need touch. Actions, in many cases, communicate more than words. Physical contact is a prerequisite both for a healthy individual, and for a fulfilling, mature, loving relationship with a partner.
On a recent trip to North America, I was astonished to see the media circus -- the focus and attention of the world - surrounding one kiss: the kiss between Vice President Al Gore and his wife Tipper during the Democratic Convention.
In a recent U.S. based global publication, I read an article entitled, "Gore's kiss is so '60s - and probably fake." In fairness to the writer of this article, he is entitled to his own opinion: for that I do not judge him. I guess what bothers me, and what I question is, "Why the hoopla?" Oh right ... I forgot... We are in the arena of politics in The U...
we all have heard the old cliché, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence." So how do we feel about love on the other side of the fence? Is love on the other side of the fence better? In some cases, it is, but in many cases, it is not.
I have encountered many people, over the years, who find themselves in a new relationship after searching in greener pastures. These same people, however, eventually miss their old partner whom they know, in their heart of hearts, was the one for them. I recently read a letter, penned to Ann Landers by "Heavy-Hearted In Philly," w...
Do you know someone who is having an affair? Have you ever had, or considered having, an affair yourself? Why is it that so many people are cheating on their partners? What is it that makes someone want to cheat on his or her partner?
Affairs are not always premeditated; sometimes they just happen. Affairs can happen almost anywhere. They happen with people you meet at work, people you meet at the gym, or people you meet at the local bar. They can happen with people you have known for years, or with someone you have just met. The nagging question in my mind is, "Why do affairs happen at all?"...
by Paul Mauchline
We all know people who have really unrealistic expectations of relationships. So many hopeless romantics believe that love is the solution to life's problems. Many people confuse lust with love, over and over again. There are people who change lovers often, because they thrive on the excitement of the initial stages of love. These are just some of the more exaggerated examples that come to mind. Many of us have our own erroneous expectations about love. These expectations can set us up for disappointment down the road. What we believe about relationships affects our atti...
One of the most important keys to having a mature, loving relationship is to recognize the importance of practicing the art of loving every day. If you are not prepared to do this daily work, you will never experience mature love. Relationships either rise or fall-- they do not stand still. If you are not putting in the effort, you are neglecting your partner and contributing to the eventual demise of the relationship. Practicing the art of loving, each day, insures that your relationship will rise.
For many of us, love begins with deep passion, romance, and hot steamy sex. This is what I call the first stage of love, the euphoric stage. You are together all the time, love everything about each other, see no faults in one another, and cannot seem to keep your hands off each other. As time goes by, you get to know one another. The party manners disappear, and you begin to see that your loved one is not so perfect, after all. This is the point where, if you are expecting perfection in another person, you will become disenchanted, and the relationship will end. You cannot expect perfection i...
You have found the one for you, and are experiencing euphoric love: deep passion, romance, and hot steamy sex. Perhaps you feel like you are "falling in love." Now I ask the question, "How can we reach the next level of loving?" In my opinion, mature love is about rising, not falling. Falling is something out of our control, whereas rising is a conscious growing process. So how do we continue rising in love? How do we graduate from euphoric love to mature love and intimacy?
Getting to know you means to getting to know yourself, as well as getting to know your potential relationship partner. Before even getting to the point of searching for a life partner, you should be questioning yourself about your values, goals, lifestyle choices, and the type of individual with whom you would like to share your life's journey. As mature adults, we need to have clear answers to these questions before we consider committing ourselves to a serious relationship. I would even go so far as to say that we should be writing down these questions and our answers to them. Writing do...
By Paul Mauchline
You feel ready for a new relationship. You love yourself. You have dealt with the issues from your childhood and from past relationships. You are clear about the reasons why you want a relationship. You are willing and able to put in the work that creating a committed, loving relationship requires. (If you cannot answer yes to all of the above statements, I suggest you read my article, "Before You Seek Mr. or Ms. Right"). Once you truly feel that you are ready, how do you find a partner who is the right person for a committed, loving relationship? How do you know he or she ...
Are you a single adult seeking a committed relationship? If so, in my opinion, there are some important areas that you need to consciously examine before you search for Mr. or Ms. Right. First, you must carefully consider the question, "Am I ready for a relationship?" Being "ready" involves some very important aspects. First of all, you need to be sure that you truly love yourself. Second, you must have dealt properly with past issues and emotional baggage. Third, you should have a clear sense of why you want to be in a relationship
By Paul Mauchline
You feel ready for a new relationship. You love yourself. You have dealt with childhood issues and those from past relationships. You are clear about the reasons for wanting a relationship. You are willing and able to put in the work that creating a committed, loving relationship requires. Now that you know you are ready, how do you find a partner who is the right person for a committed, loving relationship? How do you know he or she is, indeed, the one for you?
The Dalai Lama
“The Power of Compassion”
“Compassion The Key To Happiness”
"I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So, I think the very motion of our life is towards happiness. "
~ HIS HOLINESS THE XIVth DALAI LAMA
By Ladyfire Editor Debora Myers
Next time that you're aching for some extra attention or just a thrill, call him. Whether you have only been seeing each other for a short time or have been married for 13 years you can use the sexy phone talk to keep him hot for you.
This is great foreplay for the woman on the go. You can get him going, tease him even more while cooking dinner together. Bend over the kitchen counter and rotate that butt, run your fingers through his hair and whisper what you want from him, before the dinner boils over! Then you can continue with the tease. Taking it a s...
By Ladyfire Editor Debora Myers
I just couldn't resist the subject of The French Kiss! I hardly think the French invented it. I imagine we have been doing it since the beginning of time, when it comes down to basics; we are only a cognitive soul in an animal body. Some people may have an aversion to tongue kissing, but I can't imagine a life without the wet, delicious, sensual communication of erotic intent. What better way to unleash your animal than to slowly work your way to the ultimate with your lover?
Say the word "sensuality" and most people immediately think of sex. Many people confuse the terms sensuality and sexuality, thinking they are synonymous. Certainly, there are areas of overlap: for instance, one might wish to be a sensual lover, to bring one's sensuality into the lovemaking process, thus combining the sensual with the sexual experience
Is sensuality reserved for under the covers after the lights are out?
By Ladyfire Editor Debora Myers
Do you take in a big breath of air, notice how blue the sky is when you step out your door in the morning, how the birds are singing, filling your heart with joy? Do you notice and enjoy the cool morning breeze and how it feels on your skin.
What makes people Sexy?
By Melissa Balmer
I'll be honest, I don't have a complete handle on "How To Be Sexy" yet, but I've got a pretty darn good one. What makes people sexy has been a sort of hobby of mine since I was a teen-ager, when I wanted to be a model, and I danced and was obsessed with fashion.
